• Stepping off the shuttle that brought us out of the harbor area was like putting your feet in those “cleaning tanks” with fish that nip at your skin. Not sure what I mean by that? Well I step down the bus stairs and am swarmed (first fish reference), then I find every piece of my exposed clothing being pulled at (fish reference #2), then you walk away and they follow, some of them still managing to cling onto your fabric, some get lost in the crowd or attach themselves to the next tourist (fish reference #3), and finally once you past an invisible threshold, only one or two remain. Who are these people you may be asking? Rickshaw drivers.
• Rickshaw driver: (n) a man whose occupation consists of driving a 3 wheeled golf cart (see def. Rickshaw) as a means of getting tourists from point A to point B in the most inefficient manner possible. More likely than not, stopping at a few stores along the way with the assertion that it is where the tourist really wants to go, or that it is inexpensive. Neither which is true (they get commission, you see). English phases used most often: “One quick stop!” “yes, very cheap” and “no, no, no, no 150 EACH”. Generally a combination of amusement and frustration is elicited from the passengers.
• My SAS trip: Dakshina Chitra Heritage Village. I’ll give you the honors of looking that one up on their website: artofliving.org
• For me it consisted of 16 hours of breathing exercises and meditation. And when the trip description says: “Comfortable accommodations with the right ambiance are provided at the popular tourist center,” they mean cockroach filled cots lined up next to one another with a sheet and something they refer to as a pillow (though in the states I think we call it furless road kill whose rigge mortus is setting in).
• Contrary to how it sounds when I describe it, I found it rejuvenating. I thought that meditating would be like that frustrating time of night when you are ready to fall asleep, but you find yourself still awake 2 hours later and you dare not look at the clock because then you’ll redo the math and realize that you only have 5 hrs of sleep left. But then you realize that you have to pee, just a little, but you know that with that feeling it’ll be even harder to fall asleep. So you cave in, and pull the covers off. And against your will, your eyes wander and sneak a peek at the clock and your brain is all over that math like a fat kid and a bowl of ice cream. 4 hours. Great. WELL meditation wasn’t like that at all. It was very relaxing and entrancing. I found myself snowboarding down a hill for the better half of 2 hours on one occasion and not once did I think about the GRE!
• I also ate vegetarian India food for the 3 days that I was at the heritage village, and took a bucket shower and used squat toilets. You wouldn’t believe how excited I get when I see a dirty old nasty seat toilet with 4 squares of tp left, TMI? Sorry, but seriously, perspective folks, everything is relative.
• So India was great even if I did see the Taj. I did see a bunch of adorable wild monkeys. My mom and I laughed when my travel medicine doc circled “monkey bites” under the India section of the fat packets she gave me before I left. But, as cruel humor tends to reveal itself, someone did get bit, eek!
• Oh! And even though I still don’t like India food, I ate at an “oriental” restaurant the first day and had some amazing southeastern Asian food. Horizons are broadening people, alert the masses. (aka people like Andi and Anna hehe)
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
IN two three four, HOLD two three four, OUT two three four five six, HOLD two, again!
Spring Break 2010: Mauritius
Getting back in chronological order...
• To get from the place we docked to the rest of the land, we took motor boat taxis. Pretty legit.
• KFC with chicken that tastes suspiciously of fish (it is an island after all so I can’t blame ‘em)
• Pride of a bird that has been extinct for…like hundreds of years or something (1600’s maybe? Apparently this bird is not as important to me as it is to the Mauritians) The Dodo bird in case you were wondering. They market the sh** out of this unimpressive, but more importantly nonexistent, bird to tourists.
• I went on the best hike of my life to a waterfall. It wasn’t one of those “cross back and forth on a small dirt path slowly up the mountain” types. We were hacking our way through brush, jumping over streams, and bouldering up rocks covered in loose dirt. SO much fun. And the reward? A beautiful waterfall, ending in a clear pool of water. I sat in a cave behind the water falling down and watched the rainbow flowing back and forth across the waterfall. Breathe taking.
• Went to a hotel at night along a beautiful beach.
o Sandy heels
o Rock cut feet
o Unnaturally colored cocktails
o A night to remember (and for many one that is going to be tucked nicely in the trunk in their heads labeled: “Warning: Do not open)
• Successful little Spring Break in the middle of a sobering and eye-opening experience.
• Not honeymoon worthy though
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
SingaWorld
Singapore apparently went from a 3rd world country to a 1st world country during the last 40 years. At the cultural pre-port (the one hour presentation the night before we arrive in a country where a local talks about their hometown--what the traffic is like, what food is good, and tries to make awkward jokes about prostitution)…okay that was such a long parenthesis that I will start that sentence over. At the cultural pre-port they explained to us how this transformation took place. It sounded sort of like they took a lot of highly educated business people from around the world and had them come to work at Singapore and thus upped the GDP there, and also something about becoming a center of Eastern trade and some other mumbo jumbo. My analysis: they created SingaWorld, an international attraction that takes tourists’ money. Now this isn’t the official name of the international attraction that is Singapore, but I thought it had a nice ring to it. If you like Disneyworld/land or Universal Studios, overpriced rides, 3D “terrorizing shows” and the like, then you’ll definitely enjoy Singapore. In fact, they even have a branch of Universal Studios. AND they have a “ride” (or 20 minute movie) in 4-D! My friend Brian and I looked at each other a little confused. With furrowed brows he said what we were both thinking, “but the fourth dimension is time”. A few moments passed and I finally proclaimed, “OH! It’s just real life!” He looked at me puzzled (I guess he missed my sarcasm) and so I explained further that maybe you pay your $40 (each) and walk into a room that has another door on the other end with a sign that says “prepare yourselves for 4D!” and the unsuspecting tourists walk through the door and, wait for it, ENTER THE REAL WORLD. Imagine that! Sounds fascinating. But considering that Brian and I had just spent 20 bucks to ride a gondola to get to this island in a “Jeweled Tran”, which ended up being the exact same thing as the ones we ride in Tahoe but with a touch screen T.V. in it showing you all the amazing attractions you will be about to see, we couldn’t justify partaking in any of them. Even walking to the top of this giant lion sculpture (called a Merlion--google it) cost 10 bucks. ANYWAY, besides the disappointment that Singapore isn’t really much of a country country, it was kind of cool to see how hi-tech and absolutely CLEAN it was. Especially in contrast to India.
SingaWorld has a few things going for it. It’s the safest place on Earth! What a great and original catch-phrase, eh? Disneyland, Happiest place on Earth; SingaWorld, Safest place on Earth…I guess it’s one of those “had to be there” or “had to have visited there” kind of jokes. Anyway, Singapore is so strict about littering and spitting on the ground and chewing gum and such that it’s spotless as well. I didn’t see a single pot hole. Also, they have some of the highest paid politicians in the world (their president equivalent makes 2.75 million a year, compared to Obama’s $400,000) and consequently, the lowest rates of corruption. But while they seem to be very modernized and civil, guess what their punishment for compromising the modesty of a woman (i.e. whistling at her)? I hear jail time, fine, and the gentleman in the back said “trick question”, well you are all wrong. The answer is caning. How does this work you might ask. Well they have “caning rooms” at their police departments. Let’s say you are sentenced to 5 canings. Well you first go to a physician’s room and they check you out, to make sure you are in good enough health to be caned. Then, presuming you are, you go to the caning room when you are asked to remove all your clothes. Then you bend over, bum out and are striked by the caner 5 times in a row. To make matters worse, it is actually against the law for the caner to hold back at all. So now your bum is throbbing in pain and you might need more medical attention or bandages because you are bleeding. Oh, and good luck sitting down for the next couple weeks. Sounds kind of primitive right?
Remember when, I think it was Clinton, who took a “get tough” policy on drugs (because his childhood days of smoking weed became public and he wanted to cover his un-caned bum), well let’s take a look and how Singapore handles their druggies. Let’s take for example, someone who has half an ounce of weed on them. For those of you unfamiliar with the weight of weed, that’s like $200 worth (sources tell me). So you get caught with it and arrested (same as the states) but now what happens. A fine, jail time, trick question? WRONG! Death. Or if you are really really lucky, life in prison, and a whole lot of caning.
So Singapore was an interesting place full of Prada and Exploratoriums, and zip lines, and roller coasters. But we were only there for a day and a half, so I liked it. I just don’t think I’m going back. Unless I plan on becoming a politician. Then there’s a chance ;-)
I nearly forgot. I did one more touristy, Disneyland type of adventure. A night safari drive at the Singapore Zoo with a Halloween theme. I saw a ton of animals that are nocturnal and got “pee-my-pants” scared (okay so maybe I exaggerated my screams a bit for the entertainment of my fellow jeep riders, but they really did do a great job in their make-up and surreptitious behavior--they even grabbed you unsuspectingly). The buffet style dinner had Indian, Singaporean and Chinese cuisine and wow did I forget how much I love teriyaki beef skewers and kung pow chicken! I can’t even fathom how amazing Taco Bell will taste when my mom picks me up in San Diego with a soft taco and a nacho cheese chalupa (extra beef) in hand.
Sorry: Out Of Order
These signs are so annoying to read on vending machines when you’re craving Cheetos and Sprite, and even more so on the only bathroom available on a 5 hour stretch of highway. But at least, for those things, there is the silver lining that one day (presumably soon) it will be fixed and someone just like you will walk up to that vending machine or bathroom and use it problem-free. Unfortunately, in the manner for which I am using it in my blog, it will never be fixed for I am using it for its literal meaning. The next blog you read is for Singapore. BUT as you might have guessed, I’ve been to Mauritius AND India between S. Africa and Singapore. But I am writing my blogs out of order. Mostly because… okay I actually can’t think of a good excuse at the moment, but just accept it and move on. Read about Singapore, and then tomorrow, or when I get a chance I will write about Mauritius then India, then Vietnam (since I’ll be there in 8 hrs!!). So don’t go getting your panties in a bunch when you see that the next blog is Singapore. I gave you fair warning. Enjoy!